muffin top and other misfortune

On a recent trip to the US, I budgeted a large amount of time and money to shopping, as any normal woman with a fashion fetish would. After making the trip all the way across the Atlantic with an empty suitcase in tow, I was not planning to return with one ounce less than Qatar Airways would allow me to bring on board.

Hitting the stores in my first week there, I was pleased to find that judging by the clothes that were fitting me, I seemed to have dropped to a size four from my regular size six. Scooping up my purchases from the first store, I headed over to DKNY to continue reveling in my new measurements. Here, however, my emotions transcended pleasure to turn into shock. I was able squeeze into a size two dress, a feat I had never accomplished in my entire life. There had to be something wrong.

As I admired my “size two” figure in the mirror, I remembered a Consumer Behavior course that I had taken in business school. During one of the sessions, my professor had discussed with us a sizing phenomenon that was sweeping the US retail scene. What these retailers had discovered was that consumers tended to shop less when they were unhappy with their size and would instead hold off until they lost some weight in order purchase new clothing. As weight loss is often a long process, the increasing amount of obesity was drastically affecting the retailers’ sales so they decided to take matters into their own hands.

They decided to lose the weight for us.

So while my size two was an inspiration to shop, it was anything but real. Clothing brands have actually started to reduce the size numbers on their clothing in order to seduce us into believing we have the body we have been working so hard to achieve and thus deserve to pamper ourselves with new clothes. Size 8 becomes a size 6, size 6 a 4, size 2 a 0, and 0 became 00.

Points for ethics: 0/10. Points for effectiveness: 10/10. No woman can resist the urge to flaunt a smaller figure, even if it is an imaginary one.

Now as far as I can tell through my research both online and in store, this shocking development in the fashion world is currently limited to the US. Regardless, however, it makes me wonder what that says about us. Have we become so obsessed with our sizes that we disregard what actually looks good on us in order to pinch ourselves into our ideal size? Is this how muffin top was born?

The effect that the fashion industry and their double-zero models have had on us is nothing new, but the fact that we have become so fixated on size that we actually allow ourselves to be fooled into believing we are smaller than what we are is nothing short of alarming. Why is it that women often prefer to wear their ideal size and look terrible in it, when they can actually wear their real size and look almost as slim as they want to be? No one can convince me that the discomfort of too-tight jeans is worth the ability to gloat to your friends about your “new” size.

While I myself would love to believe that I am truly a size 2, I, along with women across the world, have to face the facts and stop beating ourselves up over a number that sits inside your clothes, hidden from everyone in the world but you. Buy your real size, ladies, and I promise it will look far better than any back-roll, muffin-top inducing size 2 dress ever will.

Looking on the bright side, I do have to say that there is one positive outcome of the retailers' new strategy and that is that it goes to prove that size really is just a number.

"back off," my plant said

In a bid to add some life to my apartment, I bought a plant last week. Knowing very well that I am not blessed with a green thumb, I only invested in a small one to sit on the windowsill of my kitchen. With pride I brought it home and perched it on its new pedestal, already feeling like another soul had moved in.

In my excitement, I would water my little friend a tiny bit every morning while I was having my own breakfast. The poor thing had been so limp and dry when I bought it, that I felt it needed some extra TLC to get it off its feet. I was so eager to see its flower bloom and thought that if I gave it additional attention it would reward me more quickly.

In no time, I found my new roommate beginning to wither, its flower curling back into itself and withdrawing from me. Heartbroken, I reached for the watering can again in an attempt to breathe some life into the plant. In the moment I was about to pour the water, I remembered once reading that you shouldn’t water plants more than twice a week. I stopped myself instantly.

I had suffocated my new friend by caring too much.

As I backed off in dejection, I found irony in the situation. I consider one of my biggest flaws to be that I care excessively about the people in my life. I invest far too much in all my relationships, giving over 100 percent to all those who I surround myself with. Repeatedly, I find myself disappointed with the lack of equal reciprocation, and my plant has proven no different.

A friend once told me that I expect far too much of the people in my life, as I should not anticipate that everyone is capable of pouring so much of themselves into their relationships. In that moment, I refused to believe that people were incapable of returning what they receive. I am adamant believer in give and take, and in my mind it’s only logical to give back as much as you take. They don’t call it the Golden Rule for nothing, after all.

But thinking about it now, perhaps he was right. Just like we as humans have thresholds for pain, maybe we also have thresholds for affection. Perhaps people can only handle a certain quota of love, be it platonic or otherwise, and past that point, which I’m sure varies for each individual, they feel a need to pull back. Is there an unspoken boundary that we should not cross in our friendships and relationships, for fear of not getting the same in return? Is it wiser to give less than you want to in order to protect yourself from disappointment?

Even while asking myself this question now, I know that I could never come to terms with being that person. Should this mean that the people in my life will be limited to a precious few, then so be it. Those are the ones to be valued anyway, a kind of survival of the biggest hearted.

As for my relationship with my plant, I think I’ll play hard to get for a while and see how it goes.

the 80/20 rule

In Business School the Pareto Principle, more commonly known as the 80/20 rule, is a basic rule of thumb that you are taught to strategically assume across many different situations in business. 80% of the world’s goods are consumed by 20% percent of the world’s population, 80% of your business will come from 20% of your clients, and 80% of your time should be dedicated to 20% of your tasks. The list goes on and is quite extensive, as somehow the 80/20 rule seems to apply to almost anything in the corporate world.

Interestingly enough, however, the most intriguing application of the 80/20 rule that I’ve ever heard was not presented to me by one of my professors, but instead by a cheesy Janet Jackson movie that I came across while channel surfing one night. While the movie was terrible, as one would expect a Janet Jackson movie to be, it did offer an extremely enlightened version of the theory.

It arises when a character in the movie is discussing his infidelity with his friend and is justifying his affair with the fact that he believes this new woman is everything that his wife is not. To this his friend replies with an ingenious application of the Pareto Principle. He explains to his cheating friend that when in relationships, we can only expect that our partners will fulfill 80% of whatever we perceive to be ideal. Over time, when the missing 20% begins to escalate in importance and wear the relationship down, our perception tends to become skewed.

Then along comes the 20. The 20s, my dear friends, are people we have all met. They step into our lives when we are at the peak of our frustration with our current relationship and offer to us exactly what we’ve been lacking: the missing 20%. In this moment, the 20 radiates with perfection. In utter delusion and a bit of temporary insanity, we begin to regard the 20 as our ideal 100%.

And in this way, many of us make the mistake of leaving more for less. Blinded by the temporary fulfillment, we are unable to see that the 20 is purely just that: only 20% of what we desire. Soon enough you discover that you have forsaken someone who gave you 80% of what you needed for someone who will disappoint you far more than you’ve ever been disappointed in your life.

In business, that’s called a bad investment.

Since watching this movie, I have reflected quite extensively upon this version of the 80/20 rule. While the theory is technically not a correct application of the economic principle, it was surprisingly insightful for a horribly b-list film.

In the case of the 80/20 in relationships, hindsight is definitely 20/20.

to mba or not to mba

Forgive me for the cheesy title, but my brain is too tired from studying for the GMAT to think of anything more clever. Just preparing for the exam makes me wonder if I even want to be a student again, poring over books and taking notes. Is it really expected that I remember from my high school days that to find the length of the third side of a right angle triangle you have to solve A2+B2=C2? I mean, honestly, who remembers that (and don’t answer that question if you do)?

I’d always considered my MBA as a non-negotiable milestone to hit in my life. Back in the days when I was still at university, I thought I would work a maximum of 2 years then head back to school in full force. A bit naïve I must admit, as I knew I would love the corporate world, but I never imagined just how much.

Now, as I’m about to round off my third year out of college, I feel it’s now or never. If I don’t go back to do my MBA now I will find a million excuses not to in the future. While discussing this with a friend who is also preparing to take the GMAT, he asked a very thought provoking question, “do we just convince ourselves that an MBA is important when in fact it’s pretty much unnecessary once you have a job you actually love? Are we just getting sucked into the path that everyone else is taking?”

Naturally, this got me to wondering the same thing. I had a professor at university who always used to say, “I don’t understand your generation’s obsession with the MBA. In my day, we would only go to grad school to plump up our CVs if we couldn’t find a decent job. Now, you are all actually leaving your great jobs to pursue MBAs. Why?”

His logic stumped me. Has an MBA become another task on our life’s to do list that is really just another box to tick? Is it just another expectation like high school, university, marriage even? I think the best description of an MBA I’ve heard to date is from another friend of mine who actually finished his by 24, “an MBA is just a way to brand yourself.”

Doesn’t matter what you actually learn, all that matters is where you go to learn it.

In the end, this whole debate begs the question: Is an MBA really a powerful asset for success in the business world or will you just become another fish in the grad school sea?

hallmarketing

As a marketing professional, it’s hard not to grow cynical. When you learn how to make a product, create a need for it, and then gloss it over with a shiny coat to make it almost irresistible to an end consumer, it becomes hard to believe anything you read in a brochure or on the back of a package.

With Valentine’s Day upon us today, I think we are all in agreement that it floats high at the top of the list of the most well marketed products known to man. Take a random day, create a cute little half naked boy who shoots arrows dipped in a love potion, and add an overwhelming heaping of romance to the mix and you’ve got a winning recipe that will have women high on expectations and men scrambling to buy what’s left of the overpriced roses by 6 pm.

Make no mistake, I’m not against the concept of Valentine’s Day, but I’m actually in awe of the marketing team that concocted the notion. To convince masses across the world that this day holds some symbolic meaning of love and that no other day can match it is a feat that they impressively overcame. That is definitely something I would love to add to my CV. Of course, I am aware that there is a history behind St. Valentine and that this day is his namesake, but in the present time that history is pretty much moot. Today, it takes less history and more Hallmark.

The majority of men dread Valentine’s Day, but I’m of the opinion that it can actually pan out to their advantage if they view it from the right angle. If we have grown so convinced that romance can only truly exist on February 14 of every year, then that’s a free pass for men! Just get it right on that one day and the afterglow will carry over for the next 364! Mess it up, and I would most definitely not want to be in your shoes.

Now, in case the men reading this actually believed me for a second, let me state for the record that I am most definitely exaggerating. While we are all guilty of dreamy ideals, most women don’t really fall for the hype and are not satisfied with romance as a one day special that is only served on the Valentine’s menu. All I’m doing is trying to prove a point to merely ask us all to step back and think that maybe going to an overcrowded restaurant to see cheesy red balloons and eat a ridiculously expensive meal only truly benefits the restaurant owner who will most likely serve you food that is low on quality and high on margin.

Try eating in this year. Light your own candles on your balcony and buy your own red napkins. You may be surprised by how much more you enjoy it.

Now, on a more personal note: I will still gladly accept flowers on this day. You know, in case you were wondering.

the grass is greener....where exactly?

I came across a website the other day called http://www.istillbelieveindubai.com/ that was created in an effort to counter the massive negative publicity that Dubai has faced in the last few months. The concept of the website is to get locals, residents, and even people who simply admire the city to pledge that they still believe in Dubai and what it stands for, despite all the heat it has been facing recently. The pledgers are given the opportunity to list the reasons why they believe in Dubai, and all the entries will then be collated into a logbook that will hopefully be sent to the local government as a token of appreciation for the opportunities that Dubai openly offers to people from around the world.

Not only did this website get me to smile, as I am a huge fan of Dubai, but it also got me to thinking. What more could people possibly want out of a city? Now, I realize that the bad press that’s been haunting Dubai is obviously a result of various things, none of which I care to discuss at the moment but my point is that even before events like the collapse of Dubai World, I had heard so many people bemoaning Dubai. It was never fun enough, or green enough, or cultural enough. Dubai could never live up to “back home,” and was always falling short on one front or another.

To these naysayers I always roll my eyes. Honestly, how much more do you need to be satisfied? Dubai offers people opportunities unparalleled by any other city in the Middle East. Not only can you build a strong career here with one of the many multinationals who have set up their regional headquarters in this burgeoning city, but you could maintain a healthy social life filled with any type of recreation you choose. Go off-roading in the desert on Friday morning, followed by a night out at one of the many glamorous hot spots. On Satuday, enjoy a full on brunch at the JBR walk and then go for a whirl on a jet ski. Motorsport fantatic? No problem, hit up the Dubai Autodrome. Sky diving? We got it covered. Thousands of happy flyers served to date.

Hit back at one of these whiners with such facts and you’re more than likely to be faced with the worn out argument “Tayib, Dubai has no culture!” Erm, you do realize that you are watching the creation of the culture, right? You are witnessing history in the making every single day, as the buildings that you complain are rising too quickly will soon be iconic landmarks to last for decades to come. Of course Dubai isn’t going to be blossoming with cool urban culture like New York City, as to be fair it has a couple centuries to catch up on.

The funny thing is that everyone acknowledges that living in Dubai raises your standards so high that often you find yourself unimpressed with anything less than 7 star. Travel abroad and the service you receive will disappoint you more often than not, as Dubai makes you expect only the very best out of everything and everyone. Is it possible that we've developed such refined taste that even Dubai itself doesn't make our cut anymore?

My friends, we are watching a grand city being built right before our eyes. If you are aware of this and are still not content then the solution is simple really: pack your bags and go home. Nobody is forcing you to stay, but I have a sneaky feeling you would regret it if you left.

why we can't say no to chocolate or dangerous men

I’ve always been a firm believer that chocolate is the epitome of the phrase “life’s not fair.” The logic of chocolate is beyond me, as the math just never adds up. On average, it takes a maximum of five minutes to devour a bar of savory cocoa delight. These five minutes of fleeting bliss generally result in the ingestion of over 200 calories, which take a 40 minute walk to work off. Not only is that not fair, it’s just plain cruel.

Unfortunately, I am one of the many who disregard all logic and continue indulging in the sweet madness. I went through life perplexed by the injustice, yet never found the will to give up my Godiva, Galaxy or Ghraoui. My confusion ended, however, when I was exposed to the Chocolate-Love Theory.

In 1981, two New York psychopharmacologists (imagine their business cards), Donald Klein and Michael Liebowitz stumbled upon a theory while they were studying the chemistry of love. The scientists were working to identify love’s effect on the human brain and concluded that the “rush” that was felt during love was caused by a release of high levels of an amphetamine-like brain chemical called phenethylamine (PEA). The increase in PEA results in an almost intoxicating feeling, which we humans who have IQs of less than 170 tend to call “love”. After digging a little deeper, the scientists discovered the link that solves the chocolate mystery for me: Chocolate is chock-full of PEA (pun most definitely intended), and thus they hypothesized that people seek chocolate in order to emulate the effects of love.

It all makes perfect SENSE now! When else do humans forsake any semblance of logic besides during the consumption of chocolate? LOVE! Chocolate is that bad boy you know you should avoid like the plague, yet you find yourself being drawn to uncontrollably. Whirlwind romances of mere weeks with these dangerous men can result in months of pain, a reality which you can clearly forecast, yet willingly ignore. Of course, you will only end up hating yourself when those weeks come to a screeching halt, just like you will want to kick yourself when sweating the chocolate off on the treadmill. You thought it would be worth it, but hindsight is always in harsh disagreement.

I wish I could say that at least the calories are always easier to get rid of than heartbreak, but that would be a lie as those last few pesky pounds are often more difficult to get rid of than the memories of a bad relationship.

The irony of it all is that when going through heartache, we tend to eat more chocolate. Out of the frying pan and into the fire? I think so.

I’m telling you, there’s just no logic to either.

spellcheck made me stupid

I used to pride myself on my spelling, grammar, and overall grasp of the English language. Years of longhand essay writing at school and university for hawkeyed professors made me extremely wary of losing any points to simple spelling errors. I couldn’t afford it back then, my grades were at stake. When I entered the corporate world, the whole ballgame changed.

It started at first with misspelling words like conceive or receive. It was so easy, Microsoft would just fix it for me immediately, without even asking for my permission or advice. Genius.

Then it got more serious; I started to forget to capitalize. Well maybe not forget, per se, but more like purposely not make the extra effort to extend my pinky finger to the shift key in order to capitalize. And why should I? Spellcheck did it for me automatically and saved me from increasing my chances of an early onset of arthritis in at least one of my fingers.

I got lazy. Real lazy.

But the problem never struck me until I had to write an email in a browser that was not blessed with the brilliance of spellcheck. No squiggly red lines to alert me of my mistakes, no green flashing in my face to tell me when I was being grammatically incorrect. I found myself questioning everything, even the spelling of the most basic of words. Did I really have to capitalize on my own now? How could this be?

Strangely enough as my frustration with this backwards interface grew, so did my clarity. Has everything just become too easy for us? Online banking, home delivery, anything you want right at your fingertips or at your doorstep. No need to do your own chores, or to correct your own mistakes. All the options to veer us back in the right direction are presented to us on a platter by spellcheck. Suggestions on how to make things right again. It’s no wonder that’s what we begin to expect in real life.

Too much effort has become the number one deal breaker in today’s world, relationships included. Investing time and thought into something seems so unnecessary, inconvenient even. Why won’t relationships just fix themselves? It has become that we almost expect that someone will magically present us with an array of politically correct things to say when fights erupt. If it’s not easy, we don’t want it.

And yet we wonder why things never seem to work out. We scratch our heads and think, “what could have possibly gone wrong this time?” But it only takes one incident to give you that answer in plain black and white. That one email written incorrectly in a browser that just does not want to help you out, or the relationship lost because you were just too stubborn to think it was you who should exert the energy. You begin to stop seeking the aid of spellcheck, and begin to rely more on yourself and even give more of yourself.

And so my resolution to try harder is born. I can’t say that at times I won’t still cheat. I admit that it will be difficult to resist the temptation of using the thesaurus to avoid racking my brains for a better word when urgent reports are due, but in real life I will try harder, and maybe next time it’ll work out. Maybe.

On a final note, the word “spellcheck” is marked as incorrect in Microsoft Word. Go figure.